The Fertility Hive

NIAW is upon us once again! Listening to and reading some of the stories presented during this week reminds me of how much work there is yet to be done. From providing better support to those enroute to parenthood to advocating for fertility rights. Every year it seems the movement gets larger and larger! It is empowering! While this week is meant to raise awareness, decrease stigma and advocate for fertility rights, it can also be quite jarring for those still in the throes of their journey. As a way of participating, I created a compilation of pictures and videos of my own journey. It was more difficult than I expected. Wounds that I thought had scabbed over and healed were all of a sudden bare and exposed, again. The grief was still there. It can be very sneaky. I found myself with a knot in my throat but also feeling extreme gratitude for our outcome. I hesitated to share it on social media. In fact, I shared it quite late because I was sure I should keep it to myself. As a former in-clinic fertility nurse and patient, I too understand the deep longing of wanting to get your BFP and feeling overwhelmed by emotions seeing others get to this epic milestone. I remember deleting all of my social media accounts after my second loss because it was just too much to handle. The feelings that arose from withing were those of inadequacy and emptiness. These feelings vary from person to person. Some experience rage, jealousy, melancholy, doubt. Actually, doubt was pretty big on my list of feelings too. I doubted my body loved me. I doubted I was meant to be a parent. I doubted I could successfully carry a pregnancy to term. All this to say that these feelings are normal. They make perfect sense. So if this week feels a little too much for you, that’s OK! Spend a few days away from social media. Do something nice for yourself. Pick up that book you’ve been wanting to start . . or finish. Protecting your peace, looks different on everyone. Do what brings you joy and serenity.
-Sarah